


we've got nothin but time

by ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes



Series: move forward (there is nothing for you here) [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, No One Tells Toph Anything, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 00:11:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes/pseuds/ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes
Summary: Toph is confused, Zuko is tired, and everyone else is just trying their best.Obligatory "The Gaang finds out how Zuko got his scar" fic.





	we've got nothin but time

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song 'Smile' by Mikky Ekko.
> 
> 6/5/19 Edit: Spelling

"Hey, I just noticed something!"

They're all sitting around a fire when Toph blurts it out. The entire group had just lapsed into comfortable silence, and Zuko looks at the youngest member in confusion.

"Noticed what?" Katara questions after a moment's pause.

"Sparky doesn't have a ponytail!" Toph says, like it explains everything. It doesn't. At all. No one else seems to understand either, and upon hearing the confused silence, Toph continues. "You guys always called him Ponytail Guy. I just kind of assumed he had one, but now that I'm sitting next to him I can feel the wind drag, and he doesn't. What's with that?" She sounds vaguely angry.

"He had a ponytail when we first met him, the nickname just kind of stuck!" Sokka defends. Zuko knows that he's being a hypocrite, but why is everyone in this group besides Aang so angry? Sokka turns to Zuko, cringing, and then says "Sorry" like it's a perfectly reasonable thing to say.

"For what?" Zuko feels a rush of surprise that he can't keep from slipping into his voice.

"Because the nickname was mean." Maybe Airbenders used to be the only sane people in the world, and that's why everyone Zuko talks to besides Aang is some unique shade of crazy.

"We were enemies at the time." A pause, and Zuko feels like he has to elaborate when no one works to fill it. "I called you 'The Dress Guy' for a long time," He admits quietly. Everyone around him laughs at Sokka's expense, and the subject of the laughter turns bright red, but he doesn't storm off so Zuko's pretty sure it's good natured. He's getting better at telling those things. "Besides, I've been called worse."

Zuko smiles, hesitantly. His mouth isn't really used to it, and it feels kind of weird, but everyone else smiles a lot so he's been trying to do it too. It hurts a little less every time.

"Like what?" Asks Aang, leaning forward in curiosity.

" _Minikui kizu_." Everyone stares at him in confusion until Zuko remembers something. "Right, you guys don't speak High Court. It basically means 'Ugly Scar.'" Sokka cringes. He's good at that.

"You have a scar? Why don't people tell me these things?" Toph throws her hands in the air.

"You didn't know?" Zuko is back to being confused again. No one has ever _not_ known about the scar, but Zuko's also never met a blind person besides Toph, so...

"I thought we mentioned that." Sokka says sheepishly, rubbing his neck.

"No, you didn't!"

"Oh, well, it's really big. It covers, like, his whole eye." Aang sounds weirdly impressed. Or, Zuko thinks that's the word for it. He's really bad at this whole 'Reading people' thing.

"Now that I think about it, I don't actually know how you got your scar. I literally can't imagine you without it." Sokka reminisces.

Zuko freezes.

He feels like there are bugs crawling all over his skin, like the air around him has just been replaced with slime and it's sitting heavy in his lungs. He knows, logically, that what his father did was horrible, unspeakable. Hes known that since he guided Li's hand through the sway of a sword, took in those small fingers and those big, trusting eyes, and realized he would rather shove a dagger through his own heart than hurt this kid.

But logic doesn't have a lot to do with the inescapable thought that they'll laugh at him and brush off his trauma, that they'll say what he went through was nothing, that they'd heard of worse, that he was an idiot. That he was a coward for leaving. That nothing he went through mattered in the slightest.

That's he weak because he still wakes up screaming.

Zuko shrinks in on himself, shoulders hunching over. He feels too big for this island, like he takes up too much space.

If any of them notice his discomfort, they don't say anything. "Yeah, how did you get your scar anyway, Zuko?" Katara pushes.

"Wasn't it a training accident? That's what people on Kyoshi island said." Suki pipes up. Zuko almost jumps. He keeps forgetting she's there.

But then there's a spike of anger, and as much as he doesn't want to tell the truth, a lie seems worse. He's not supposed to lie to his friends, Zuko knows. Also, if they win this war ( _When_ they win this war, he reminds himself. They can't afford to lose.) then they'll probably just find out anyway. But from a secondary source. And then they'll have _two_ incorrect stories. And he'll have lied to them.

"It wasn't a training accident." Everyone turns to face him, and his heart starts to pick up on the anxiety, pounding in his chest and making his carotid artery ache.

"Woah, Sparky, calm down. I can feel your heartbeat from here." Toph instructs, voice worried.

Zuko takes a deep breath, and tries to follow her advice. When that doesn't work, he imagines Uncle's voice like it always got a few months after the banishment and Zuko would wake up from a nightmare, thrashing and gasping for air.

That works better.

"It was my father." Zuko's voice is small. Like a mouse, scurrying in, barely noticeable but for what it takes. And in this instance it takes the humour and joy from the people around the campfire, and scurries away into a hole. Zuko almost wants to join it.

"What?" Sokka asks, but it's said in the way it always is when he actually heard perfectly what you said but he just can't process it.

"I was thirteen. I spoke up in a war meeting when I shouldn't have. I called a general a coward. I was challenged to an Agni Kai, a fire duel. I thought I would be fighting the general. I was wrong. Then, my father banished me, and told me I could only come home if I captured the Avatar."

Everyone is dead silent. The sound of waves hitting the shore of Ember Island and the cricket-mice chirping is the only thing that breaks the quiet.

"That's... That's really messed up." Sokka says.

Zuko lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He's staring at the ground, heart back to pounding out a staccato against his chest. Someone puts a hand on his arm, and he takes the urge to flinch away behind a barn and kills it like a lame horse.

Zuko looks up and sees Aang.

"I knew the Fire Lord was evil, but I didn't think he'd do that to his own _kids._ If Gyatso ever did something like that to me..." Aang shudders. Zuko feels relief rush through his veins so quick it nearly makes him lightheaded.

"Yeah, Sokka's right. That's just... If someone ever did that on Kyoshi island, we'd feed them to the Unagi." Suki promptly gets a look on her face that suggests she's internally feeding Zuko's father to a giant fish monster. Which should defiantly bother him, but Zuko is starting to imagine the same thing, and he can't say it's not appealing.

Maybe after the war is over he should visit Kyoshi Island. It sounds like an interesting place. And he should bring the corpse of his father. For no particular reason.

Is there something inherently wrong with wanting to feed your parental figure to a sea monster, despite the fact that it would create an extremely angry Spirit that would probably try to kill you at every opportunity? Yes, indefinitely.

Does Zuko particularly care? No. No he does not.

Suddenly, something barrels into his chest, knocking the air out of his lungs. It's Toph, with her arms wrapped around him, hair obscuring her face.

That seems to be the cue for everyone else, because they all dive in for a hug, practically crushing him under their weight. It feels oddly safe.

He hasn't really ever felt safe before.

"Spirits, Zuko, you're so warm." Sokka says, voice full of wonder. Someone laughs. Zuko thinks it might be himself.

That's weird.

He can't remember the last time he laughed.

It's not uncomfortable though, so he doesn't stop. He feels like Uncle would like that.

**Author's Note:**

> this is trash and was written in like 30 minutes i want someone to punt me into the sun


End file.
